You don't know how sick you make me.

I have no idea how to start this post right now. I don't know wether I should be relieved that I finnaly found out who is actually my friend, or angry that someone who I thought was a friend isn't? Maybe i'm thinking to much, and then i'll just end up getting all pissy and cut off from everyone. I don't even know. What is wrong with people nowadays? Who am I to judge eh. I'm not perfect either. I can't act like it's not my fault and blame everything on someone else. But this time, I didn't do anything wrong, why do I always have to make things right? Why do I always feel that I have to give in eventhough they hurt my feelings first? why do I even give a shit? I can't say I have a good heart, but I can say i'm a good person. I don't think i'm worth to be anyone's anything. Cause this shit always happen, when you're nice to everyone they'll just shit on you. Regardless. I hate people telling me to relax, chill, sabar, what what. Shut up la, please. I have enough problem in my head. When you say that it makes me even wanna punch your face, because why? If you don't know how to console people then shut the fuck up. I'm not asking for advice, sometimes I just need someone to listen. And especially someone who don't even know me, you don't know how I feel, so just go away. I don't need anyone's symphaty. It's enough that i've been treated like shit , i'll ruin you. But I wont, cause you're not worth it. No one is worth my time.

I stand corrected, certain people do. Certain people who don't deserve getting my piss. People who actually care about me. So why do I even wanna think about this? When I have AWESOME people that I care for? God help me. I'm always in denial.